So, you can’t be hypnotized?

Struggling to go into trance, finding it difficult or even feeling you can’t be hypnotized is a common complaint among people who are new to hypnosis and hypnokink. Even people who have been around it for a while can struggle with trance.

‘How do I go intro trance’ or ‘How do I get hypnotized’ are questions often asked of me, and I know that other hypnosis creators field similar questions on a regular basis. So, what is the solution, if you find yourself unable to trance, or able to reach that state but becoming distracted or feeling as if you’ve woken from it before you’re ready to?

As with anything pertaining to the human mind, it’s complicated. However, there are concrete actions you can take that may not guarantee success but will help you get closer to your goal of a deep, lasting, and effective hypnosis session.

Ultimately though, the person responsible for your ability to be hypnotized, is you.

What is Hypnosis?

Let’s start with some misconceptions. First, the idea that ‘I can’t be hypnotized’.

You can. Everyone can. Trance is a state we enter regularly. You enter trance when you are intensely focused on something. That is what hypnosis is, an intense focus on something. To borrow a definition from Michael D Yapko in Trancework, hypnosis is:

‘A focused experience of attentional absorption.’

I like this explanation. The full quote is more about therapy and psychology, but it sums up what hypnosis is, and is not. In understanding that, you can come closer to understanding what to expect from the experience.

You are in that state when you lose yourself in a project. I often find myself in an effective ‘trance’ when writing scripts. So absorbed in them that anything on the periphery of my attention is forgotten, and my imagination is free to flow.

Some more misconceptions. Hypnosis is not sleep. It is not mind control. It is, simply, a state of intense focus, during which time you are more open to suggestion.

Finding Focus in Hypnosis

Now you know what is not happening in hypnosis, but how does that translate to success in being hypnotized?

Let’s start with the most common barrier to being hypnotized. Fear.

Fear may not be obvious; this is something you want so why on Earth would be afraid of it? Yet fear is often highly illogical, based on assumptions and imagined outcomes rather than objective fact. If you’ve ever gotten a little spooked when you turn the lights off at home as you walk up the stairs, you understand. You know nothing is there, yet suddenly darkness falls behind you and now, now things lurk in the shadows.

Fear of hypnosis is a match for one of those major misconceptions. The fear that hypnosis may indeed be mind control. That in being hypnotized the subject will lose all their agency, ability to resist, and power of thought.

While that may also be attractive as fantasy, it really is not as reality.

So let me be abundantly clear. While hypnosis could be used in conjunction with emotional manipulation and coercion to cause harm, that requires rather a lot of work on the hypnotist’s part and frankly would be simpler without trying to trance someone.

The truth is that hypnosis is an agreement between hypnotist and subject. A mutually consenting arrangement. Could the hypnotist do things while you are hypnotized that you disagree with or dislike? Of course, but as you are focused and not asleep, it is most likely you’ll simply ignore it if it’s minor or lose your focus if it’s truly egregious.

Spend some time doing your research, learn about the person you’re trusting to put you in trance, and remember that hypnosis is just a tool, so find someone who knows how to make use of it.

That is not to say you should not be cautious. There is the chance a poor hypnotist or bad actor could use your focused state to upset or attempt to cause harm. Read descriptions for files and have an honest and open conversation with any hypnotist working with you live. Once you do that, you have little to fear.

The mind, however, is not so simple and not so willing to cooperate with a logical argument. So, the answer is… to alter your behaviour, on your own.

Self-Hypnosis and Meditation

To overcome subconscious fear of the effect of hypnosis, particularly in an erotic setting where the boundaries between fantasy and reality become blurred, it is wise to practice non-erotic trance.

This can be achieved through self-hypnosis or meditation. The practice of putting yourself into that focused, trance state. I won’t detail how here, but many guides exist online.

The trick to it is that if you can enter a trance on your own, a hypnotist can simply guide you back to that feeling and state. It is also a way for you to understand what a trance actually is. Rather than laying back and waiting for a hypnotist to put you to ‘sleep’ you will learn the skill of entering a trance state, of removing peripheral distractions and getting to the place you want to be. From there, a hypnotist will be able to guide you into that state more easily, and with greater rates of success.

But it will not always work.

Failure Points with Trance

Fear is not the only thing stopping a trance from happening. Remember that hypnosis is a state of focus. A trance which allows you to push the peripheral aside.

Many, many things can get in the way of trance. The first are external distractions. Noises in your environment, risk of being interrupted, screens and phones. This is simple to fix. Darken your environment, remove stimuli, turn off your phone or put it on silent, and make sure you won’t be bothered. Create the kind of environment you can relax in, and you’ll be able to relax. This is not brilliant insight, but it is something people just don’t do.

More complicated are internal distractions. If you feel anxious or stressed about something, trance will be difficult. You won’t relax and become focused on something else if you can’t stop thinking about that meeting at work or an exam you should be studying for. Self-hypnosis can help you to push those things aside, but it takes time, and practice. It is a learned skill.

Alcohol or any other substance that affects your mental capacity is also less than ideal. If you’re drunk you can’t focus very well, so avoid anything that affects your ability to do precisely what hypnosis is.

Ultimately the responsibility for being able to embrace the moment relies on the subject’s ability to mitigate fear and either remove or learn to deal with distractions. Spending the time to practice that skill won’t just benefit your ability to become erotically hypnotized, it will also benefit your personal life. Focus is a fabulous skill to practice and can help calm the mind and get things done.

Finally, on distractions. Scratch the itch. Move and stretch when you need to. If your hypnotist told you to stay perfectly still or be frozen in place you’re basically guaranteed to have an itch. So, scratch it and move on. You’re not breaking the rules. You can be focused on the trance and still scratch without much, if any, thought. So just get it over with. You’ll find in doing so, you can relax more easily instead of just letting it bother you.

Hypnosis is About You

You are unique. Don’t assume what works for someone else will work for you. I’ve seen people describe some hypnosis files as amazing, spectacularly good, deepest they’ve ever gone, only for someone else to just shrug and move on, feeling nothing.

That is not only due to the quality of content being variable, though content quality is variable. It is because there are myriad reasons a hypnotic trance may not occur with files or sessions.

An excellent piece of advice comes from Mind Play by Mark Wiseman. Different people have different learning styles. Knowing which works for you affects which content or hypnosis style will work. A visual learner may want to see something like a spiral or pair of eyes or be encouraged to visualize what the hypnotist is saying. A kinaesthetic learner however, wants to feel something, a touch or just hear the description of physical sensation.

I am yet to see hypnosis content tagged by learning style, so bear in mind that you will need to have a quick listen before trying to trance to check – and that is good practice regardless.

Overthinking and Hypnosis

You probably think you’re an over-analyzer. So is basically everyone. We are all always thinking. It is rare in a world of distractions and constant noise and imminent deadlines to switch off, truly. You are not resistant to hypnosis because you overthink things. You are resistant to hypnosis because you are distracted by those things.

But, if you do have issues with thoughts being too strong to push aside, you may need to find a new induction technique. Progressive muscle relaxation, where the hypnotist tells you each part of your body is becoming more relaxed in turn, is not a fit for everyone despite being extremely common.

If you find thoughts distracting you from enjoying that kind of induction, look for files that force you to think of things. That layer complexities to the point of overloading. You may have heard of confusion inductions, they can be great, but my personal preference is something called the plus minus seven induction (used here), which asks you to think of more and more things until your mind cannot remember them all.

Once you reach that critical point, which is at around seven items, your mind can’t hold the information, so your focus is all consumed in that ultimately failed effort, pushing aside other thoughts and allowing you to focus intently on the hypnotist.

Fractionation inductions can be wonderful too, as they bring you in and out of trance over and over, making the experience quite engaging and keeping your attention, as simply losing interest can happen, though drifting off and feeling your thoughts wander is part of the experience too.

How does it feel in trance?

A final note for you to consider. Now that you’re clear on trance not being sleep, or mind control, you may wonder what it feels like if you’ve never experienced it before.

That will vary by person, honestly, but the best way to think about it is like a long walk. At the start you are thinking about the distance, the steps, feeling the ground beneath your feet. After a while however, the steps come without thought, and your mind focuses on something different. A daydream perhaps.

That daydream is what you want to get to. That’s where the magic is. The erotic dream you want to have. Your hypnotist wants to get everything else running on autopilot to help you focus solely on that fantasy.

And when you take that walk, you find part of it missing from your memory, because your brain can devote that kind of focus to one thing only. It’s just not so easy when you’re actually trying to do it, not without practice.

So, try self-hypnosis, try different induction styles, voices, learning methods. It can take time, but hypnosis is something everyone can experience, and sometimes just accepting that and getting over the idea you can’t be hypnotized is enough for it to work.

Good luck.