You’re interested in erotic hypnosis, and you want to bring that to your relationship. You want to share in the joy of trance and arousal in altered mental states. The idea is wonderfully exciting, but for many, absolutely terrifying too. Here’s a brief guide on how to introduce what can be a taboo topic to your relationship, to help you talk to your partner about erotic hypnosis.
OPEN COMMUNICATION ABOUT HYPNOSIS
If you want to know how to talk about erotic hypnosis with your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, there is one thing you must remember.
Be honest and direct.
For some, this will work perfectly. If your partner is also interested in kink of any kind, it’ll be so much easier to bring something that’s a little outside the norm to the table and discuss how to incorporate it into your play.
This can be achieved in a few ways. The first is to share a journey of discovery through listening to files, reading stories, joining the hypnosis community and sharing posts and ideas with one another.
The other way is to bring hypnosis in through actually hypnotizing them or being hypnotized. The first is an easier sell. If you’re the hypnotist in the scenario, you can build your skills through reading and repetition and practice them on your partner if they enjoy the idea or are open to experimenting.
Be sure you engage with them, asking regularly how they feel, offering proper aftercare post-session, and focusing on not only your kinks with hypnosis, but how it can engage with their own for a more exciting experience. If they’re into bondage, hypnotize them to be bound, for example.
Respect their boundaries and give them time to decompress and discuss if they need to. The newer this is, the more questions they may have as they build trust in you as hypnotist. Remember, you’re getting in their head, so it takes a lot to give you that power, even in a trusting relationship.
BEING THE HYPNOTIC SUBJECT
It’s a bit harder to come to them wanting to be the subject, so be aware of the ask you present. You’re saying to your partner that you’re interested in and aroused by a complex, detailed psychological technique that they may have only heard of in passing, and hoping they’ll jump into it without fear or concern.
That seems unlikely. What is likely is that they will react with a little trepidation. You’re asking them to be able to deliver a hypnotic induction, to understand if it’s working, to be in the mood to arouse you and maybe get into it themselves, all while delivering a monologue.
It’s like asking someone to fuck you while reciting A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The course of true love never did run smooth.
Take it slowly. Try showing them an induction. Even if you want to be the subject, you can practice hypnosis on your partner to help them understand it a bit more. If you’re submissive, you can even use it to make them feel more dominant.
A key thing to remember is that this is a collaborative experience. Talk about what you want to get from erotic hypnosis, and see what your partner wants, once they learn a little bit about it. Then you can begin to practice erotic hypnosis as a couple.
Start with some scripts. If your eyes are shut, your partner speaking the words from a book won’t be too obvious. If you want them to work on improvising, maybe question if they’ll be able to or want to. If you’re dating someone who’s quiet in bed, who isn’t one for dirty talk, this may not come naturally. If they’re a yapper, this will be an easier fit.
That’s not to say it won’t work for a quiet person, if they learn and make the effort, but they may not be as comfortable immediately. Especially when at first, this is performance, more than a natural, sexy scene.
There are some fantastic resources to begin learning, or to find erotic hypnosis scripts you can bring to the bedroom, so give your partner the tools to succeed, and work on it together.
BE KIND TO EACH OTHER
You may be used to hearing an erotic hypnotist who shares your kink in their files. Someone who has been doing this for years and speaks with a smooth, confident delivery. Your partner won’t do that. Not right away, at least. Erotic hypnosis for couples takes practice, effort, and engagement from both sides.
Your job is to encourage their interest. If they try, don’t criticize, let them learn in their own way. If they ask for feedback, be gentle. Give them aftercare, tell them how they made you feel if they did well, keep it to yourself if they didn’t quite get you into trance. They will in time, but it’s not that easy to go in blind to a new concept, so offer support.
You will find if you are too negative or critical that suddenly, your partner will say they actually didn’t really like hypnosis and want to stop. That may really mean they didn’t like how you tried to bring it to the scene. If initial excitement turns to avoidance, you may want to examine your behaviour and make sure you were kind and gentle, and be ready to apologize if you weren’t.
If you were though, they may just be deciding that it isn’t for them. If so, respect that and let it go. Ask if they’re comfortable with you exploring hypnosis elsewhere, whether with a play partner, through files, or with sessions. It will depend on your relationship, but you should be prepared for the result of this to be a no.
In fact, you need to start this conversation knowing that it may not go the way you want. That said, it’s better to try, than to let fear of rejection make your life less interesting.
WHAT IF THEY AREN’T INTERESTED?
You might find that the initial conversation leads to absolutely nothing. That you get shut down for the slightest mention of your interest in erotic hypnosis.
While I would always encourage you to respect your partner’s boundaries, it is also important enough to you that you should find ways to at least have the conversation, even prepared for them to still say no.
What you can do, should there be a lack of interest in the erotic potential of hypnosis, is gently engage with your partner about their own interests. Seek compromise.
You can suggest, for example, that you understand that it may not be for them, but maybe you could each try a kink the other would like to experience and see how it goes. You need to give as well as get, in a relationship.
Another approach would be to ask if your partner would like to know how hypnosis makes you feel, and why you wanted to do it with them. You can outline the positives if they’re willing to engage with that line of conversation. Point to the idea of intimacy and connection, the relaxation and removal of inhibitions, the chance to explore fantasy and roleplay in a safe, comfortable place.
You may also want to explore the idea of roleplaying hypnosis/mind control scenes. This doesn’t require them to know how to do an induction, and if your fetish is just the concept of being mind controlled, this may be enough to satisfy your interest in a low-pressure way for your partner.
They may still shoot you down, but if their rejection is based on a lack of understanding, or the idea that they would need to control your mind or you’d be altering their mind, you might have success being clearer about what hypnosis actually is, rather than what media portrays it as.
Again however, if you have those conversations and still get a no, you may need to let this go from your relationship. If this is something you feel you need in your life, you have another discussion to have about where you can get it.
Not everyone will be interested, or comfortable with your kink. You may not want your partner to do something you feel is extreme with you, so respect their boundaries as you’d expect them to respect yours.
Ultimately, your relationship should not crumble from asking questions about your kinks and your sex life. Even a no should not lead to disaster in a loving, trusting partnership.
Good luck.